My Friend Has A Gambling Problem
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When you don't have a gambling problem yourself, it can be difficult to understand why someone with a problem doesn't just stop. Problem gambling has a similar effect on the brain as drug and alcohol addictions, which explains why just trying to stop isn't usually enough to make it happen. I have a gambling problem. Dear Pastor, I want to share a problem I have with you. I have a gambling problem that has been with me since the 1980s due to being a loner. Because I don't have many friends I tend to go to the amusement arcades and to the casinos. I sometime go to the betting shop. Your friend may have a gambling problem if they are: preoccupied with gambling or talking about gambling a lot describing gambling as an easy way to make money lying, stealing or cheating in order to gamble.
- A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well.
- If you have a family member or a friend with a gambling problem – and you ignore it – you're making a risky bet. Particularly if that person is heavily involved in your life, since his or her.
Learn how to cope if someone you know has a gambling problem.
If your parent or guardian has a gambling problem, it may affect you and your family in different ways. You may notice changes like:
- more arguing in your house
- very stressed, irritable or upset family members
- your family is struggling with money
- seeing a lot less of your parent who is gambling
These changes can be very tough and they can bring up a lot of different emotions. As hard as it is, try and keep in mind that these feelings are normal, like:
- loneliness
- stress
- worry
- guilt
- confusion
- anger
- resentment
How do I talk to my parent about their gambling problem?
People with gambling problems can recover and lead healthy lives with the right support and treatment. But as with any addiction, people need to be ready to make a change.
Remember, there is nothing you can say or do to make your parent stop gambling. Just as you didn’t cause your parent’s addiction, you also can’t make it go away. If you feel comfortable and safe, here are some tips on how you can express your concerns:
- Use examples: discuss your concerns by using specific examples of things you’ve noticed.
- Don’t judge: tell your parent that you’re worried about them, but try not to judge or accuse them.
- Say how it’s affecting you: give your parent examples of how their gambling is affecting you and your family.
If you don’t feel comfortable approaching your parent, try someone else in your family. They may be able to talk to your parent for you.
If your parent is getting help
Try to be supportive and encouraging if your parent is getting help with a gambling problem. Let them know you’re proud of the changes they’re making and how those changes are affecting you for the better. They will need and appreciate the support. There may be setbacks along the way, but remember that recovery from any problem is difficult. It may take multiple tries before someone can change their behaviour.
While they’re getting help, the best thing you can do is take care of your own feelings and safety:
- Be kind to yourself: doing things you know you enjoy, like listening to your favourite music or playing a sport you like, can improve your mood and make it easier to handle the stress of your situation.
- Get support: having a parent with a gambling problem can be difficult, especially if you feel like you have to handle it alone. You’ll feel less lonely — and have an easier time at home — if you surround yourself with friends who understand and support you.
- Talk to someone you trust: someone you trust, like another relative, can help you figure out ways to get support for both you and your family. It can also help just to vent about your feelings. You can always call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 — our counsellors know a lot about gambling problems and can help you think through your situation.
No matter what, you deserve love, care and respect. If you feel like you’re being neglected, or that your safety is at risk because of a parent’s gambling, please call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 — we’ll help you figure out how to protect your health and safety.
Thinking that your friend may be struggling with a gambling problem can be tough. Your friend may have a gambling problem if they are:
- preoccupied with gambling or talking about gambling a lot
- describing gambling as an easy way to make money
- lying, stealing or cheating in order to gamble
- borrowing money from friends and family and not paying it back
- selling their things or other people’s things
- incurring mysterious debts
- not at school, work or home without explaining why
- distracted, sad, nervous, defensive or irritable
- losing interest in things they used to enjoy or not wanting to see friends anymore
- not doing as well in school as they used to
Keep in mind that some of these signs can also indicate other problems like depression.
Talking to your friend about a gambling problem
If it’s safe, it can be a good idea to talk to your friend about what you’ve noticed. Here are some tips on how to have that conversation:
- Do research: inform yourself about the signs of a gambling problem.
- Find the right location: find somewhere quiet and free from distractions.
- Give examples: use specific examples of behaviour that you think is troubling. You could say, “Last week, you spent your whole allowance on your sports pool.”
- Don’t accuse them: avoid accusing or judging your friend. Focus instead on how you feel about their gambling by saying something like, “I’m concerned about the amount of time you spend gambling.”
- Be specific: tell them how their gambling is affecting your friendship and try saying, “When you break plans so you can gamble, I feel really hurt.”
- Offer help: ask your friend how you can be there for them. You can offer to call a counselling service with them or accompany them to their first appointment. If they seem open, you can recommend they reach out to Kids Help Phone.
- Don’t force it: if your friend doesn’t want help, try not to push the issue. Let them know you’re there for them if they want to talk about it in the future.
Remember, to recover from a gambling problem, your friend will have to decide for themselves that they need and want help.
My friend is ready for help
My Friend Has A Gambling Problem Bad
If your friend is ready for help, your support will be important. You can support them by acknowledging any positive steps they’ve made as they work through their gambling problem. Still, dealing with a gambling problem is a difficult process and it may take several tries before your friend is able to stop.
Need more information or support? You can contact Kids Help Phone 24/7.
More info on gambling:List with 2 articles link
Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction’. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular.
But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating. It can destroy the sense of trust between partners often as a consequence of the secrecy or lies surrounding the addiction as much as the addiction itself. It can also ruin families financially.
It’s estimated there are around 450,000 problems gamblers in the UK. And anecdotal evidence suggests that every problem gambler impacts 5 to 12 other people.
What are the signs your partner is a gambler?
Many people whose partners have gambling addictions often report initially thinking their partner was having an affair as the signs are so similar. They include:
- Spending lots of time away. Do they often spend a lot of time away from the house and are vague about why? Some problem gamblers also get up very early in order to play before their partner or family are awake.
- Secretive around finances. Does your partner become cagey or defensive on the topic of money? Have they taken steps to conceal bank statements?
- Money going out of account without explanation. Obviously, it’s not always possible to hide it if you are spending large amounts of cash. Have you noticed unexplained deductions from your accounts?
- Secretive around internet use. Most gambling addictions are carried out online. Does your partner habitually delete their internet history or are they vague and evasive if questioned on their use of the internet?
- Emotional highs and lows. Do they seem extremely excitable and positive some times but then very low, upset or even angry with others?
- A change in behavior over time. You may feel like your partner’s behavior has changed gradually — getting more and more difficult or secretive in increments. This is usually how addictions begin: with things starting off more subtly, before spinning further out of control.
How does gambling affect relationships?
On a number of levels:
- The emotional impact. Very often, the partner of someone with a gambling addiction will feel betrayed upon finding out. There can often be a sense of feeling like they ‘aren’t enough’ to keep their partner happy. They might feel ashamed or even just simply hurt.
- Trust. This is one of the biggest factors. Most addictions involve some form of lying or concealment at one point. Many partners struggle to understand how their partner could have kept this from them, especially if it’s been going on for a long time. Trust can take a long time to rebuild after the revelation of an addiction like this.
- Financial. On a practical level, gambling addiction can decimate joint or family finances. It’s not uncommon for a problem gambler to dive into savings or take out multiple credit cards. This can leave the family with no other money for their basic needs, including household bills or mortgage payments. It also often means that peripheral things, such as holidays or new clothes for children, become unaffordable.
- Time. Something often forgotten about addictions is just how much time they take up. Gambling addiction can mean a person is away from their partner or family for long stretches of it — weakening their connection and making it that much harder to recover from the damage done.
What can you do?
The first thing to do if you think your partner is a problem gambler is to seek help.
My Friend Has A Gambling Problem Among
GamCare has a helpline (0808 8020 133) that’s open seven days a week. They can provide you with advice on what your next steps could be. They can also help you think about whether your partner has a problem — you don’t need to be certain to give them a call. Their trained advisors can give both information and in the moment emotional support to help you feel calmer.
They’ve also got an equivalent online service called Netline, which allows you to exchange instant messages with an advisor, and online forums, where people who’ve been affected by problem gambling talk and support each other.
How we can help
If your relationship has been affected by your partner’s gambling, then we’d strongly recommend coming in for face-to-face counselling.
My Friend Has A Gambling Problem Chords
There may be a fair amount to unpack following something like this. This is not only in terms of the damage it may have done to your relationship or family, but in understanding and coming to terms with the circumstances that lead to the addiction in the first place. Often it takes going back to before the addiction even started to begin to understand why it happened.
Many partners blame themselves for the addiction – believing that if they’d been a better husband or wife, this never would have happened but things are rarely as simple as that. Sometimes figuring things out and getting them in perspective can be much easier if you’ve got a little help.