Real life manufactured to look like real life. And about all those moments, those status updates, those goals in net we're jealously viewing, drooling and stewing over, remember this. We weren't beside that person the 99 percent of the time they spent getting there, screwing up and failing as humans are apt to.

• Gratitude can go a long way in helping you see that life is not so boring after all. We tend to take the good things for granted and don’t focus enough on what’s going well. We do focus, however, on a lot of little negative things and blow them way out of proportion.
• This printable cookie card is perfect for Valentine's Day! These are great to add an extra touch to any cookie as a gift or for pop up sales! Each card is about 4'-5'. Print on card stock, add the cookie, and you are all set!

When I was a kid, one of my favorite games was The Game of Life.

If you were a kid in the 80s, you probably played it too. You gave the spinner a whirl, drove your little plastic car around, and “lived” life – picking career or college, getting married, having kids, buying insurance, upgrading your house, etc.

It was fun because it let you pretend to be an adult while you were a kid. (what we really need is The Game of Being a Kid – I'll trade being told to eat my vegetables if I don't have to write TPS reports)

Life Boring Without Gambling

Here's something I realized much much later – the Game of Life kind of messed me up for actual life.

(or more to the point, it would have messed me up if I believed life had to be lived that way)

We go through life with invisible scripts and limiting beliefs. Invisible scripts, a term I learned from Ramit Sethi, are those beliefs that are “pre-written by our societal values.” Limiting beliefs, which seem to go hand in hand with invisible scripts, are those beliefs that constrain us in some way.

The Game of Life is one massive invisible script for how you should Real Life.

That's why I won't let my kids play The Game of Life.

(OK I let them play it but you get my point, but no thanks to Monopoly)

There are more than two paths

In The Game of Life, there is only one major life-altering decision you can make – Start College or Start Career. It starts at the beginning and it determines your income for (potentially) the remainder of the game. There are “Trade salary card with any player” boxes you can land on but those were added later to balance out the game, there's no Real Life equivalent.

If you go to college, you are saddled with $100,000 of debt but you could get a career with a higher salary. There are 9 careers and only 2 careers (Doctor, Accountant) require a college degree. Let's ignore the other mechanics of the game (how paydays are determined, other benefits like the Computer Consultant gets paid $50,000 anytime the spinner stops between numbers or comes off the track) but the basic premise is that to get a higher payday you need to go to college.

Jobs are a matter of supply and demand. If you have skills that in demand, you can command a higher salary. If you have skills that are in abundance, you can't.

It also ignores how often someone can change careers at any time. What you decide at the beginning of the game does not set your path for life. You can always add to your skillset. What you decide in your twenties is not your lot in life.

(By the way, there's a space where you pay $5,000 for spring break if you go to college — that alone should disqualify this game from Real Life!)

The goal isn't money

The goal of The Game of Life is to “Collect money and LIFE tiles, and have the highest dollar amount at the end of the game.”

As if Real Life were so simple!

Money is important but is it the objective of life? If you were to ask someone ambitious, hungry, and 20 — money seems all-important.

Ask someone who is 40. 50. 80. Has two kids. Found a partner. Lost a partner.

Money takes on a different meaning.

When I was deciding what to study in college, the number one factor was the career prospects of that field. I chose Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University because your chances were pretty good. No disrespect to other majors but in 1998, computer science at a premier university was your meal ticket. It helped that I enjoyed the problem solving and tinkering but the #1 overriding factor was money.

Graduate and I could get paid that sweet sweet startup money!

As I write this today, at 35 with two kids and barely into what I consider my “real adulthood,” money is a means to an end. I want enough to support our lives but so many things are ahead of money in importance. My post about Why Do You Work? is one of the most popular on the site because it's a question we all want to understand about ourselves.

Life is more than just work. It's family, it's friends, it's holidays, it's free time, and so many other hours not captured in the 40+ of work.

The Game of Life's objective might be to have the most money, but in my Real life the objective is something very different. When you think back to the happiest moment from last year, what do you think about it? It's probably not seeing a direct deposit line item in your bank account. 🙂

Investing isn't gambling

The Stock Market mechanic is pure insanity. At the start of any turn, you can buy a stock for $50,000. The stock has a number and any time a player spins that number, you collect $10,000 from the bank. You can only own one stock and if there's a Stock Market Crash (someone lands on it), you lose one stock.

I realize The Game of Life has to do something to try to capture this idea and the idea of index funds and 8% gains every turn is decided un-sexy, but straight up gambling? And you can buy only one stock? You can't sell the stock and get paid tax-free dividends?

I want my kids to learn that investing looks like it's a lot of craziness, especially if you turn on CNBC and catch an animated Jim Cramer, but it's quite boring. Invest your retirement and/or savings (you don't need for 5+ years) in the stock market through a low-cost index fund, watch it grow over time (or more like don't watch it spike and drop), and sell when the time comes. Zzzzzzz.

But Zzzzzz is smart and it's better to be smart than entertained. 🙂

Getting married & buying a house

There are only four spots every player must hit (the red ones with a Stop sign). They are:

• Career Choice
• Get Married
• Buy a House
• Sell 1st House, Buy a 2nd

Some are required spots, like Career Choice and Get Married, but they all play into invisible scripts. We should all make a single career choice and then potentially change it in a mid-life crisis (the game has a mid-life crisis space!!!!). We should all get married. We should all buy a house and then trade up to a more expensive house.

The Game of Life isn't cruel, it's merely mirroring the invisible scripts of our society. If you are in your mid-30s and unmarried, society views it a certain way. If you are in your mid-30s and without kids, society views it a certain way. Ask anyone in those position and they get pressure from their parents.

Is it right? No. Everyone should be free to live their own lives however they want because it's their life!

But society says you need to get a job, get married, buy a house, and then trade up that house. If you don't, you're weird. Or there's something wrong with you… says society.

I say forget that – live your life.

Retirement is at the end

Life Boring Without Gambling Losses

Most of life sounds like fun. Go to work for 40+ hour weeks, have a family, buy all sorts of stuff, go on all sorts of vacations or get a timeshare, trade up your house, blah blah whatever. Those are all ideas we believe because society says so.

Do you need to own a house? No, but it makes sense depending on your situation.

Do you need to get married? No, but it makes sense depending on your situation.

Here's one invisible script that I think needs to get busted up big time – you work for 40+ years and then retire. In the Game of Life, you live your life until you retire. That's the end.

Many people defer their lives until retirement. That's why you have so many mid-life crises – people are living an unhappy or unfulfilled life and have a crisis where they overcorrect.

Some folks find so much of their identity in their work that there may be a link between mortality and retirement.

I want our kids to find fulfillment and happiness in their work but I also want them to live a balanced life. I don't want them to defer their happiness because of work. I don't want them to have mid-life crises. And I don't want them to think things have to be done a certain way and checkboxes need to be marked.

The first step is to identify these invisible scripts and limiting beliefs in life and ensure we don't pass them on.

I'm not an animal… 🙂

• This topic has 22 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by .

• I started a new thread as I’m not feeling so bad with some gamble free time behind me. I don’t necessarily need to be reminded of betting strategies as they can be a trigger for me.

  Although I’ve tried to gamble I can’t do to the barriers I have in place and it’s relieving that they are rock solid now. I’ve actually been blacklisted by all online gaming and took permanent self exclusion from some local betting places where I was still leaking some money.

  Reading stories can be an emotional reminder of past pains and also a trigger but it helps to be reminded of the devastation one bet can cause.

  So now I have a gamble free life, gambling is not an option and I feel good about that. I’ll continue to post on this new thread and wish everyone the best in their recoveries.

  Hi Iwon,
  A huge well done to you.
  Your approach to recovery is inspiring and you deserve every minute of gamble free time .
  As time passes you will feel better and better and I am delighted you have chosen to share your journey with us .
  Your post has really lifted me .

  Well done on your gamble free time and on having those barriers in place.

  I think it’s such a positive action to come on and post your last comment. We have all been there I’m sure. It happened many times to me. There isn’t a miracle cure but none of us would be here if there was.

  Be strong and positive tomorrow is a new day.

  I will be on chat at in 20 mins. Feel free to join if you like?

  Congratulations on coming back,
  it would be easy to just continue with the destruction.
  You know what works…..use it
  Keep posting, staying in touch really helps (I learnt this the hard way)
  Look forward to reading more from you,
  Love K xxx

  Hi I won a new life, I’m glad to hear that you have been able to stay clean. Hope to hear more about your experiences here. It will definitely go a long way to helping everyone here, me included.

  Hi New Life! I’m so glad you came back. I did too. I think over time I just stopped doing the things that had helped me stay clean for so long. In 2016 you said you were black listed and life long banned from local places. Can you get your barriers back in place for these new locations? More of these places than a dog has fleas it seems! All the best. You did it before, you can do it again. Wishing you strength.
  Laura

  Hi IWON just checking in to see how things are going. Hope all is ok?

  Thanks for posting was hoping to hear from you today.

  What you have said makes so much sense, I was very similar.

  My main problem was exactly the same in that although it was not everyday when I did I carried on until I had nothing left. There was no rational thought but I would not give it up until I could not physically get money to carry on.

  The days I didn’t gamble I honestly believed it was not a problem but then did the cycle again.

  I carried on like this for so long and ultimately realisation came when I had nothing left to lose and hit rock bottom. I honestly wish I had recognised that I had a problem and to deal with it sooner as I wouldn’t have hit the bottom.

  Don’t get me wrong I don’t look back and regret this all the time. It is what it is but I would never want to see what happened with me happen to anyone else.

  Coming clean saved me and I honestly believe that I just wish I had done it sooner.

  It seems you have the choice now. Do whatever is right for you of course but I honestly believe by coming clean you will interrupt the cycle and things will start to change.

  Keep being positive.

• Posts